oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
