i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
