yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize