If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize