What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
