I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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