The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
