don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We need to get me chipped asap
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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