No awkward lesbian experiences without me
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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