just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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