I want to have your abortion
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
