I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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