For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
