no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
