I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
