Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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