I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
