new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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