dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
