i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
