he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
