Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
