hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
