Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
