I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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