I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
