stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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