dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize