from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He called his prostate his "boner button".
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize