Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
