Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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