Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
