the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
