You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize