i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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