i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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