thus making me awesome and them whores
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize