i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize