I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
