why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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