Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Found the puke drawer
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
