It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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