so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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