Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
His nipple licking is glorious
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