Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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