You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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