never play flip cup with pint glasses
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
