We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
