I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize