No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
