I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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