Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
