You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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