don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I need a hoe opinion
go on
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
