Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He did a backflip because drugs
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