I am spending my child support on dildos
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
