i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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