...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
