Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
