A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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