The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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