how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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