Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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