i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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