Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
