ugly people sure do ruin things
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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