Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
