chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
