i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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