I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
